Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’
I have nothing but heaps of praise for Wendi Baity’s hip hop class on Monday nights at Moorpark College! This class has been such a great experience for me as both a dancer and as a social experience. Having done mostly partnered dancing for the last six years, this class was a definite stretch for me. I am very grateful for the spirit that Wendi brought to this class. She has been an incredible inspiration for me, not just with hip hop, but with all styles of dance.
Wendi infuses this energy into her class that became so abundantly clear at the end of the semester dance performance this evening. The monday night class is packed with students from all walks of life. Everyone in that class has an amazing story to tell. They are all great people.
When we all hit the stage, something magical happened. Wendi had been asking for more energy throughout the entire semester. All that energy came onto that stage tonight. It seemed like everyone just lit up on the stage! It was an awesome experience to see and also to be part of. I’m looking forward to the funny 80s piece in tomorrow’s dance performance.
I’ve gone through my fair share of breakups, but nothing has compared to the most recent split. Five and a half years of being with someone, I grew to have certain expectations of my girlfriend. By far, the biggest expectation I had was that in the unlikely event that I ever had a difficult moment in my life to deal with… Well, I expected her to be there. The night I found out my friend Rich killed himself, she was exactly what I needed. I couldn’t have asked for more during that evening. Ten days later, she was telling me that I was such a horrible friend that it was no wonder Rich killed himself.
It’s been a rough road for me since then, but I realize something about getting over someone after a breakup. It comes directly from the science around how we relate memories to sounds and smells. I’ve come to the conclusion that the time it takes to get over someone corelates to the time the songs that remind you of them remain on the radio.
We have our songs that remind us of that special someone. In many cases, those songs will always remind us of that person. The best example I can think of is Sting’s “Fields of Gold”. It has always reminded me of my high school girlfriend. I rarely hear it on the radio, but when I do it brings back fond memories.
When I first split with my last girlfriend, just about every song on the radio reminded me of her. I’ll admit that “Gives You Hell” and “Heartless” are the top two that remind me of her the most. “Gives You Hell” is still in the top 10, so it gets a lot of airtime, but I’ve started to notice that Heartless is getting much less play these days (even with The Fray’s cover). Granted, I’ve gone through my own healing process over the last few months, but not having to hear songs that constantly remind me of her helps quite a bit.
Now, for people who listen only to classic rock and oldies who have songs that remind you of someone… You just might not ever get over your ex 😦
It seemed odd at first. I had these strange feelings towards my ex-girlfriend after she told me that my best friend killed himself because of me. They were very foreign to me.
Generally speaking, I wish nothing but the best for everyone I meet. I wholeheartedly hope that everyone acheives their dreams in life. I don’t think there could ever be enough I could do for other people to make the world a better place. Despite all this altruism flowing through me, I am still human.
Something I had never experienced before was hating someone. Sure, there were times when I “hated” doing something… Times when I “hated” going to work or school or talking to someone. However, I never actually hated another human being. Despite my childhood that was filled with every type of abuse, I never hated my parents or my family or the people around me. I certainly had moments of anger mangement, no doubt about it.
Even when I was younger, if I was upset with someone I would try to figure things out in my head. I have always tried to figure out why I feel the way I do about other people, especially when my feelings are negative towards someone else. If I found myself not liking someone very much, I would usually look to the inside to understand why I didn’t like that person.
So, it was a bit of a surprise a few weeks ago when a friend of mine told me that it sounded like I hated my ex-girlfriend. I was certainly not liking my ex much, but I didn’t think I hated her. I thought about it over the next few days and started to realize that I really did hate her. I couldn’t believe it. However, she really did make it easy to hate her. She told me that my best friend of nearly 20 years killed himself because of me, that I didn’t deserve to be happy and didn’t deserver the enjoyable life I have. Then she turned around and tagged me as an asshole on Facebook (yes, I’m a bit lame for taking that serious :-P), but to top it off, she started to date someone else a few weeks after she said all of that to me and has been very open about showing large quantities of PDA (which she didn’t do with me). Oh well.
I was actually happy to finally distinguish that I hate someone. A friend of mine told me that it reminded her of the scene from “Enchanted” when the princess realized that she was mad and got excited about being mad.
I’ve been really happy about hating my ex-girlfriend. I’m starting to get passed it now. Sometimes it has felt weird to be happy to hate someone, but she has never made hating someone so easy 😛
At her circumference Earth spins on her axis at approximately 1,038 mph.
Whenever someone dies, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
Whenever a country declares war on another country, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
Whenever there is a massive tornado, hurricane, or earthquake, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
Whenever someone does something mean to you, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
The best part about it is that no matter how hard we try, we are all along for the ride. While people like me in Southern California are traveling a little bit slower, we’re still spinning with her.
Now, there may come a day when we launch ourselves out of Earth’s orbit. Then just replace the concept of the Earth spinning at 1,038 mph with however fast we are orbiting the center of the galaxy. My point is that everything is spinning and that may explain why you get dizzy sometimes 😛
I heard it twice today, “I want a job that makes me happy.” You can replace job with anything, and it is probably one of the most common statements you’ll hear. I’ve certainly said that phrase many times before. I even think I’m so lame that I said “I just want a relationship that makes me happy.”
Call it age, losing my best friend to suicide, or supreme enlightenment, but I really don’t need or want something that makes me happy except for myself. That’s not to say that I don’t get happy when I ride my motorcycle or when I am dancing or when I’m hanging out with my family and friends. Those and so many other things make me happy. However, I am happy regardless. The work that I do is work that is exciting because I make it exciting. The hobbies that I pursue are exciting because I make them exciting. Because I am happy, what I have in my life becomes happy.
It’s not to say that I’m loony happy all the time. When I lost one of my best friends to suicide, I was not happy. When my girlfriend of 5.5 years said it was my fault and that I didn’t deserve the life I have, I was not happy. When my Ubuntu 9.04 upgrade hosed my computer and about $200 worth of music, I was not happy. When my Magento upgrade did not go as planned, I was pretty pissed off.
Aside from the minor tantrums that I throw here and there, I’m a really happy guy. I guess what makes me happy is me. “I just want a me that makes me happy.” And that’s what I have, so everything else is gravy 😀
Anyone who says the Bush stimulus package of a $600 tax rebate is not going to stimulate the US Economy hasn’t been watching The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch. I’ve seen more millionaires made from $600 or less on that show than I ever thought was possible. The moral of the story: Your wealth is what you make of it.
Every time I watch that show, I’m completely inspired. Regular people making it big because they had a dream that they pursued. My favorite episode was a few days ago. I can’t remember the guy’s name, but there was a venture capitalist on the show who said that the “side job” never becomes the next million dollar idea. Got me thinking about how many “side jobs” I’ve had over the years. None of them took off. Watching the show, I see nearly all of the stories have something in come: they quit their job went after the dream.
What dream is worth dreaming but not pursuing? Time to take the plunge. Grab that $600 tax rebate and do something with it!