Posts Tagged ‘life’
Life… It’s something we all have in common. How we choose to live our lives is often quite different and perplexing to some. For example, people who complain about life or how crappy people are… they just don’t make sense to me. People who are oblivious to the events of the world around them don’t make sense to me. And I’m sure that I don’t make sense to many people around me.
Actually, I know I don’t make sense to some people around me. For example, this week I paid a visit to the doctor. Turns out I have a kidney stone. A rather large one, but it is something that can be treated without me ending up in the hospital (the first kidney stone I had 9 years ago put me in the emergency room). My doctor wanted a better look at my insides as a whole (32 year olds with kidney stones isn’t the norm).
I got my first CT Scan, and I was pretty excited about it! Just think about it… Have you gotten a CT Scan? How many people do you know who have gotten a CT Scan? I can cross that one off my bucket list (and I did). A friend of mine didn’t that it was all that cool or funny that I (1) had to get a CT Scan and (2) had a bucket list at my age.
All this really got me to thinking… How complete is my bucket list? And do just happy things need to be on my bucket list?
This mental search left me with one conclusion: I have a great life!
Not everything has been strawberry shortcake along the way, but does any of that really make my life bad or less enjoyable? Had my family not grown up on food stamps and welfare, would my life have been any less enjoyable? I know people who were born with silver spoons in their mouths and have been miserable their entire lives. Still there are others who have been happy their entire lives.
Then it got me to thinking about how to have fun with how great life really is. Now, I love competition! I love sports in particular, but I also qualify Hungry Hungry Hippos as a sport. Anything that is a challenge, I consider a sport. Life is a challenge, so I’m up for playing that sport at a professional level. I don’t want to be an amateur life! Of course, every sport must have an opponent. But this game of living isn’t about making someone else’s life less enjoyable. In fact, I’ll say this life sport has not defense at all. This is an all offense game!
So, I challenge anyone to have a better life than me!
All two people who ready my blog (LOL), I challenge you! Make your life better than mine. Smile more than me. Enjoy your family and friends more than me. Enjoy the world more than me. I challenge you to enjoy your life more than me!
Of course, this means you are going to have to post blogs, images, social network posts, etc. about how great your life is. This way, I can one-up you and we can continue going until one of us wins in about 80+ years!!!
She reached for the salt and pepper as I was putting my fork on my plate. It was something purely surreal. No, it’s not like The Lonely Island song
It was almost as if she touched my entire body just by briefly brushing my arm on the way to the salt and pepper. If I didn’t know better, I blacked out for a little bit. It was as if my five senses became obsolete, and I was experiencing her in another dimension. It was the warmest feeling, so comfortable and peaceful. Yet, I felt my heart race. It was instantaneous! Rather than a slow moving tingle that spreads goosebumps from one end of my body to the next, it was like I fell through a doorway and into a bath of ecstasy.
For that brief moment, I swear I could feel her feeling me. I could hear her thoughts in my head as if they were my own. I could feel her as if she was me, and I was her. There was a spiraling sensation where I could not tell where I stopped and she began. It was like our bodies were completely intertwined, not with arms and legs, but more like chocolate vanilla ice cream swirls. Her breath was my breath, yet only our arms brushed. Her heart beat for mine, and mine for hers. Time collapsed and I lived an entire life in that moment.
She was only reaching for the salt and pepper.
I had a lot on my mind today. Between the myriad ideas at work (new products, new advertising opportunities, improving customer service, etc.) and the questions I face in my personal life, I found myself in a state of self discovery. So, I asked myself a very simple question: What Would My Clone Do?
Not hampered by the events of every day life: cold shower water in the morning, burning toast, traffic, and waiting in line at lunch… My clone would have a much clearer head than I during times of stress. He would be able to make sold decisions during times of crisis, like choosing between watching two equally great prime-time television shows. So, I find peace knowing that my clone is always there for me, calm and ready to take on whatever pressures may come my way (like when I’m running late to a massage appointment).
I was driving back home from Chipotle the other day. I took the back road along the mall in Simi Valley. When I got to the stop sign at the end of the road, I arrived shortly before the lady in the car to my left. That would give me the right of way. So the lady stopped and waited. I saw a guy on a bicycle coming up along side of her, so I waited. The lady motioned for me to go, so I pointed to the guy on the bicycle who was now right along side of her. She started yelling and making large arm motions for me to go just as the guy on the bicycle passed her.
I figured she would have gotten the point that although I had the right of way, I didn’t because of the guy on the bicycle. As she started driving, she looked in my direction and gave me the bird. I couldn’t help but laugh at such an idiot.
It seemed odd at first. I had these strange feelings towards my ex-girlfriend after she told me that my best friend killed himself because of me. They were very foreign to me.
Generally speaking, I wish nothing but the best for everyone I meet. I wholeheartedly hope that everyone acheives their dreams in life. I don’t think there could ever be enough I could do for other people to make the world a better place. Despite all this altruism flowing through me, I am still human.
Something I had never experienced before was hating someone. Sure, there were times when I “hated” doing something… Times when I “hated” going to work or school or talking to someone. However, I never actually hated another human being. Despite my childhood that was filled with every type of abuse, I never hated my parents or my family or the people around me. I certainly had moments of anger mangement, no doubt about it.
Even when I was younger, if I was upset with someone I would try to figure things out in my head. I have always tried to figure out why I feel the way I do about other people, especially when my feelings are negative towards someone else. If I found myself not liking someone very much, I would usually look to the inside to understand why I didn’t like that person.
So, it was a bit of a surprise a few weeks ago when a friend of mine told me that it sounded like I hated my ex-girlfriend. I was certainly not liking my ex much, but I didn’t think I hated her. I thought about it over the next few days and started to realize that I really did hate her. I couldn’t believe it. However, she really did make it easy to hate her. She told me that my best friend of nearly 20 years killed himself because of me, that I didn’t deserve to be happy and didn’t deserver the enjoyable life I have. Then she turned around and tagged me as an asshole on Facebook (yes, I’m a bit lame for taking that serious :-P), but to top it off, she started to date someone else a few weeks after she said all of that to me and has been very open about showing large quantities of PDA (which she didn’t do with me). Oh well.
I was actually happy to finally distinguish that I hate someone. A friend of mine told me that it reminded her of the scene from “Enchanted” when the princess realized that she was mad and got excited about being mad.
I’ve been really happy about hating my ex-girlfriend. I’m starting to get passed it now. Sometimes it has felt weird to be happy to hate someone, but she has never made hating someone so easy 😛
At her circumference Earth spins on her axis at approximately 1,038 mph.
Whenever someone dies, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
Whenever a country declares war on another country, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
Whenever there is a massive tornado, hurricane, or earthquake, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
Whenever someone does something mean to you, she still spins at 1,038 mph.
The best part about it is that no matter how hard we try, we are all along for the ride. While people like me in Southern California are traveling a little bit slower, we’re still spinning with her.
Now, there may come a day when we launch ourselves out of Earth’s orbit. Then just replace the concept of the Earth spinning at 1,038 mph with however fast we are orbiting the center of the galaxy. My point is that everything is spinning and that may explain why you get dizzy sometimes 😛
I’ve been writing a lot lately to get some of my thoughts straight around my ex-girlfriend. The night she said my friend killed himself because of me was littered with half a dozen other insults she flung at me… Insults that her mother apologized for, but she never did.
Writing rhymes helps me think things through. It takes a lot of exploration of emotion to make two lines rhyme with a rhythm that flows. I have gone through a myriad of emotional states, from hating her to having nothing but compassion for her. Most of the rhymes I’ve written so far have been brutal towards her. This is the first one I feel hasn’t been so brutal…
You are a wicked bitch
Twisted and sick
Took a shit
on my life
Gave me nothing but strife
from day one
you were coming undone
But I didn’t see it
Or maybe I couldn’t conceive it
People on the outside
couldn’t perceive it, you’d outwise
the world into thinking you were someone you aren’t
You lived your whole life as a lie
And I guess that’s why
it was so easy to say goodbye
Five years and you take two weeks
I wonder why I wasted my time
why I stood in line
thinking with this heart of mine
that one day we’d be sublime
drinking corona and lime
on a sandy beach on our honeymoon
I thought that day would come soon
but I’m just a bafoon
And I made mistakes
Five long years, there’s no debate
I’m not perfect
I don’t project that on my surface
but to call me worthless
Tell me that I don’t deserve this
life that I have
the friends that I have
you just want to drag
me down to your bottom, it’s sad
but I’m giving up on being mad
I’ve stopped calling you a cunt
I’m off the hunt
for wicked words to hurt you
to sting you
and bring you
to your knees
beg and plead
and don’t deceive
the next guy
fill him with your lies
And I’m moving passed it
my heart, you gassed it
never felt so tattered and torn
but there’s no reason to morn
losing you is a blessing
so the anger I’m addressing
and still I find myself regressing
from time to time
I wish you nothing but the worst
Feel my hurt
I want you to feel what I’m feeling
the pain’s got me reeling
I can pretend like you were an addiction
Something I just had an itchin
for and was wishin
for more and more
Another knock on my door
tonight or tomorrow
but instead I feel the sorrow
The sorrow of losing someone I loved
Someone I held above
anyone else in my life
Someone I thought would someday be my wife
5 years, and now I just drive
down this lonely road, thinking I might wipe
out and crash and burn
There’s stripes for me to earn
lives lessons can be hard to learn
I don’t suppose I’ll ever know exactly why events unfold the way they do. Most of the time, everything seems to make perfect sense. There are clear and obvious explanations for why people say, do, feel what they do. However, every once in a while things happen that don’t really make any sense. Often times I’ll look back on certain events, and they make complete sense in retrospect. Ultimately, it is my perspective that has changed.