Posts Tagged ‘Funny’

Nobody likes being laughed at, except maybe comedians. So, I decided to change things up a bit. I’ll say, “I’m not laughing at you.” Then I’ll pause. The other person will usually, say something about me laughing with them. I’ll cut them off… “No. I’m not laughing with you either. I’m laughing around you.” LOL

Simply changing the preposition can make that statement really funny:

I’m laughing within you

I’m laughing above you

I’m laughing beside you

I’m laughing aboard you

I’m laughing beyond you

I’m laughing from you

I’m laughing near you

I’m laughing through you

I’m laughing via you

It’s a lot of English nerdy fun 😀

Advertisements

I had a lot on my mind today. Between the myriad ideas at work (new products, new advertising opportunities, improving customer service, etc.) and the questions I face in my personal life, I found myself in a state of self discovery. So, I asked myself a very simple question: What Would My Clone Do?

Not hampered by the events of every day life: cold shower water in the morning, burning toast, traffic, and waiting in line at lunch… My clone would have a much clearer head than I during times of stress. He would be able to make sold decisions during times of crisis, like choosing between watching two equally great prime-time television shows. So, I find peace knowing that my clone is always there for me, calm and ready to take on whatever pressures may come my way (like when I’m running late to a massage appointment).

I’ve got a new Hollywood diet idea! It came to me as I’m lying here in bed for the second day in a row with a cold. I managed to get this cold just a couple of days after getting a flu, so I’ve been sick 4 days out of the last 7. There is one tremendous upside though. I’ve never been in better shape! I’ve lost 5 lbs and practically have a six pack now!

So, here is my Hollywood diet idea: Inject people with live flu cultures. They’ll get sick and shed weight like crazy. Between the diarrhea (colon cleanse), coughing and sneezing (great core workout), and dehydration (helps you look more chiseled), this diet technique will quickly become a major trend in Hollywood. Plus! when we are sick, we usually lose our appetite. It’s a natural appetite suppressant! And when you run a 101 degree fever, your body really burns calories! Who needs diet pills when you’ve gone swine flu!!!

Got the following from my friend Keeeeen the other day LOL

Wrath of Khaaaan :-P

Wrath of Khaaaan 😛

I’ve got an Easy Button on my desk at work, and I think I might just need to upgrade soon:

They even have something to help make sure people can avoid your gassidents (gas accidents):

Fart Alert Barricade

Any of us who use Windows (you know who you are by the sucker written on your forehead), have seen the “You have unused icons on your desktop” message pop up from time to time. But most of our screens are not displayed on a screen the size of a 10 story building like this guy:

You have unused icons on your desktop

I kinda wish I had stuck around to see them clean the desktop 😛

In a stark blow to the Holy Roman Catholic Church, experts in Internet technology have concluded that the World is not the center of the World Wide Web. In fact, scientists now suggest that Sun is the center of the Internet! Experts were also quick to announce that MySQL was not going to hire Bill Parcels as the General Manager.

I wonder if all of this is going to mean that my GoDaddy PHP sites are going to run a little faster now!

Dolphin TunaThe city of Miami has thrown it’s support towards Tuna with Dolphin starting the 19th of December. Just before the most horrible fishing season in Miami history ends, local fisherman Wayne Huizenga finds himself catching the biggest tuna of all. “Let the feast begin,” said Huizenga after nabbing The Tuna.

Many environmetalists are outraged that the Dolphins of Miami, Florida are no longer safe from The Tuna catchers. A meeting of several environmentalist groups provided insight into how the groups were planning to protect the dolphins from The Tuna slaughter. “We’ve devised a method by which we will strap protective helmets to the heads of the DolphinsDolphin in order to protect them from the impending attack of The Tuna.” They even provided an illustration of what these protective devises might look like. Some say it might be too late from the one Dolphin known as Cam, but groups are watching intently to see how things unfold in this delicate environmental battle.