Posts Tagged ‘women’

“Behind every great man is a great woman”

We hear that statement (or some variant: “Behind every successful man is a woman”) so often, particularly in politics. It’s so popular that with the rise of successful women in business and politics we hear the gender role reversal: Behind every great woman is a great man. Regardless of the gender roles, the statement has an underlying tone that the spouse of a great/successful person is hidden “behind” the successful person.

Maybe we see the significant other on the stage… Maybe the great wo/man is mentioned in an acceptance speech… Maybe in the memoirs…

The reality is that *Beside* every great wo/man is a great wo/man. It’s just a preposition, but this preposition swap accurately reflects the true spirit of this popular idiom. The spouse of a successful person stands besides them, not behind them. When they walked down the isle, they walked beside each other. No one individual was behind or in front of the other, and it’s the same in success and greatness.

When I achieve success in business or life, my wife is always beside me; not behind me. And I know that the same holds true for her. We’re on this adventure together. One of us certainly takes the lead depending on what obstacle is in front of us, but when we cross that finish line… When we achieve success, it’s beside one another.

Choosy people have checklists for everything, especially when it comes to their partners. At one point in my life my checklist made it onto an Excel spreadsheet (which I have since “lost”). I designed it so that I wouldn’t compromise on my choices in women. Some would have called it picky. I like to think of it as keeping me grounded.

It was separated into physical attributes, personality traits, and sexual attributes. No, physical and sexual attributes are not the same. Sexual attributes are a hybrid of physical and personality. So, I had to keep them separate. This was important because certain physical attributes aren’t anywhere near as important as certain personality traits. Each attribute also had an importance factor for it.

Yes, this spreadsheet might sound like it was getting a bit complex and neurotic. It was an exercise in both my Excel formulas skills and my pickiness. It was drummed up after a relationship that left me thinking: WTF was I thinking???

Items would include the norms: eye color and shape, hair color and length… dear God the teeth!!! Let’s not forget the need for their not to be a snaggle tooth!!!

I’ll digress for a moment…

Years back I was going on a date with a woman who I had seen pictures of. You gotta love online dating. It’s like shopping through a catalog. She was a great looking woman. Long black hair, beautiful eyes, sweet face… I setup the date to meet at Dakota’s Steakhouse (when it was upon on the hill in Simi Valley – yes, this was a long time ago). As I was walking up to her, I did the usual undress her with my eyes… I mean, checked her out. She had a beautiful body. She was much more beautiful in person. She smiled, and she had a cute smile… until I got closer! She had Bug Bunny teeth!!!

This isn’t quite the same as a snaggle tooth, but the effect was the same… I tried to erase it from my memory. I tried to eat dinner without thinking about her eating carrots. I tried not to be charming and make her smile, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. She smiled a lot during that dinner… I kept telling myself that perhaps I could just seek therapy regarding my irrational fear about women with Bugs Bunny teeth! For all intents and purposes, she was the perfect woman! I kept thinking that she had a very solid head on her shoulders (that thought was followed immediately by, “She’d have to in order to keep those teeth in tact”). It was horrible! I just couldn’t get passed it 😦

The date was going really well! She told me she really wanted to go back to my place and meet my dogs. I thought my dogs might chase after her because they’d mistake her for a rabbit! It was very difficult. Here I was with the perfect woman wondering if there was some way that I could find an emergency dentist to file down her Bug Bunny teeth. Besides the Bugs Bunny teeth, I hadn’t found any other flaw. She was a near-perfect woman, so I said yes to going back to my place.

Now, I should pause her for a second… This was years ago that I had this issue with Bugs Bunny teeth. I haven’t gotten over my irrational fear of humans with rabbit feet, just like I haven’t gotten over my irrational fear of people with over-sized heads!

At this point in my life, I had never had a woman back to my place on the first date. No one night stands or even one night stands that you turn into a relationship just so you don’t feel guilty about having a one night stand. With this girl, I’d picture it in my head and then see a rabbit hopping through the forest. Little Bunny Foo Foo kept ruining this dream girl…

She got to meet my dogs. They liked her, she liked them. We were chatting about all sorts of topics and having a great time. I tried to no avail to keep the thoughts of her Bug Bunny teeth out of my mind. I’d say something witty or charming, and she’d smile. Now, mind you, her smile was beautiful from the lips perspective. Didn’t show any gums, nice corners that curled up when she smiled. Full bottom lip. The corners of her eyes would curl up slightly when she smiled really big… And when she smiled big, it was big… Big Bugs Bunny teeth!!!

I couldn’t make it beyond the teeth!

Needless to say, Bunnygirl and I parted ways that evening with no more than a hug goodnight and “No Bugs Bunny teeth” was a very important physical attribute that made it onto my list.

Getting back to the spreadsheet…

Over the years other important attributes made it onto the spreadsheet: not being on mental medication, career-focused, ability to balance a checkbook, and dozens more. I kept the spreadsheet updated with new attributes and new women. It made the evaluation process really simple. If I was able to fill out a new prospect’s column on the spreadsheet after a couple of dates and she didn’t score about a certain amount, it was time to call it off. It was a very pragmatic process which lead to a couple of years of being single.

Then I realized something very important! I thought the scoring provided me with an objective perspective about any given woman so that I wouldn’t “fall” for someone who wasn’t ideal. In a way it had. It also made sure that I wasn’t ideal for anyone else. For someone to try to live up to such massive scrutiny was impossible (except for the Bug Bunny girl who retroactively scored perfect except for the whole teeth thing)! So, I deleted the spreadsheet and moved on with my life. Two weeks later a woman who would have scored perfectly on the spreadsheet showed up in my life. No Bug Bunny teeth either!

When that relationship failed, I couldn’t help but chuckle about how ridiculous my spreadsheet was. In the end, the “perfect” woman wasn’t for me. It’s kinda like a football team that’s good on paper but still loses the championship game…

I’m not getting any younger, and it seems that neither are the women that I find attractive. I remember having crushes on teachers when I was a kid, but who doesn’t have a crush on a teacher?

My fascination with older women continues with me today. When I was in my early 20s, I found women in their late 20s and early 30s attractive. There was just something naturally attractive about them. As I started off my 30s, I figured that maybe I’d find myself being like many of the men I know who are attracted to and chasing 21-year-old women. That hasn’t been the case.

I’ve certainly dated younger than me since I’ve crossed over the 30 line, but that is mostly because women my age and older have already gotten married and/or had kids. The younger women have been great women for sure, but I certainly find myself much more physically attracted to a woman in her late 20s and older than I do a 21-year-old. I have friends who only pursue women in their early 20s. I just can’t get into it like them.

I like my women a little more mature, but it isn’t just a mental thing. I find a well maintained woman in her 30s to be incredibly attractive, more so than an equally maintained woman in her early 20s. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I find a well aged woman so much more attractive.

It’s happened to us all. We start dating someone and all of a sudden people of previous interest start showing up all over the place. Then there’s the onslaught of new takers… Is it the way we dress? Is it our swagger that draws in the attention? Is it the fact that we appear more confident because we know we have someone special in our life? Or perhaps it is a cosmic joke to test to see how good we are at keeping our pants on and our lips to ourselves.

I don’t really know the answers to any of the questions above, but I do know one thing… Men react completely different to finding out a woman is with someone than women do. Take for example, hypothetical girlfriend Sally. She starts dating Harry and then goes out for a girl’s night with her friends. They happen to bump into guys who are out for a bachelor party (we all know what happens at bachelor parties!) The guys ask Sally if she’s seeing anyone… As soon as she says yes, they guys note that on the account and move on. They aren’t going to piss on that branch, if you know what I mean.

Harry goes out with the guys to some club. Guys night out. They bump into a bachelorette party (much more scandalous than bachelor parties, lemme tell ya!) As soon as the girls find out Harry is seeing someone it’s over. By over, I mean it’s over in a bad way. The girls are going to ask him questions like how long they’ve been dating. Apparently, if they haven’t been dating more than a certain number of months then it’s like he’s not dating anyone at all.

Few guys will pursue a woman he knows is with someone else, even if he knows they’ve only been dating for awhile. Any guy that does is a total piece of scum, so women can be forewarned. Don’t get upset when the guy turns out to be an utter douche. If he’s willing to screw over his own gender, he’s not worth your time.

I like my women just like my cars: shiny, just the right curves, low miles :-P, easy to handle, low maintenance, purrs when you turn her on, and makes your heart race when you rev her up!

Dating someone is a lot like getting a new car. There’s that initial 500 miles that you don’t want to rev the engine too high. It’s the breaking in period before you can really take her on a joy ride. For me, 500 miles goes by really fast. I drive a lot.

Then there is that first three month period. You are taking things pretty easy, but you don’t want to be too cautious. Part of the appeal of the new car is the exhiliration you feel around the corners. She handles well, so you take her through the canyons for a ride along the coast. Maybe you stop off at the Neptune’s Net for a quick bite… Times are good during the first three months.

After three months, you get a little lazy. Initially there was no food allowed in the new car, but one meal won’t hurt. Certainly, there was no farting… but that macho burrito isn’t settling quite like you thought it would. However, the most significant thing that happens in the first three months is always that first door ding. Some jerky just had to do it. It’s upsetting at first and then you realize you still love your new car.

Fast forward nine months later… Hopefully you and your new car are not pregnant! If you’ve made it an entire year, you’ve gone through plenty of door dings. Maybe you’ve even had to replace the brakes if you drive like me. However, if you are still looking at your car the same way you were when she was less than three months old, you just might be thinking she’s worth keeping around a while longer.

After the end of the second year, if you still think your car is a sexy bitch, she’s definitely a keeper!

I’ve been fortunate enough to date some beautiful women in my life. Typically, they capture a lot of interest when we are out. Heaven forbid I go to the bathroom because I’ll have to sift through a crowd of men to get back to her. I’m a very lucky guy. However, nothing compares to my current interest… like moths to a flame!

Last night I took her to see my friend Tiff Randol perform at Room 5 in Hollywood. We both really enjoyed Tiff’s performance! Afterward we met up with a friend of mine at a gay bar. Not even at a gay bar does my special lady get away from the guys hitting on her. There was one straight guy in the whole place (besides myself). Within 3 minutes he was hitting on her.

My friend took us to a couple of other gay spots and it was a different story, however. Nobody was interested in her at all. She did notice the amount of attention I was getting though. Women love men who are wanted by others. It doesn’t seem to matter that it was men that were checking me out. Someone (and apparently there were many) else wanted me, but she had me and that made her feel good about what she had.

There is an important lesson here folks! Take your woman to a gay bar so she knows you are a hot piece of ass 😛

I’m sure we’ve all seen this before. Whether male or female, you can see that men change when we are around other men. Women notice this the most because their “man” is usually some baby-talking wuss whenever they are alone. However, when “the boys” come around, the baby talk goes out the window and the guy turns into “a jerk”. Anyone shaking their head right now is probably surrounded by their male friends right now.

I call this mental disorder Penis Size Syndrome (PSS). It is one of the biggest relationship killers in society, but it does not only exist with men who are dating or married. This happens with all men. We feel like there is something we need to prove to other men in the world. Women, pay extra attention to that last sentence. It has nothing to do with you. We aren’t comparing our penis size to yours!

PSS is a disorder the affects almost every man at all ages. However, it is most prevalent in men who are in their 20s. Symptoms may include (but are not limited to):

  • Driving a big truck
  • Putting a lift kit on your small truck
  • Spiking your hair
  • Popping your collar
  • Grunting exceptionally loud while working out at the gym
  • Making fun of your girlfriend or wife in front of your friends
  • Trying too hard to create “awkward” situations
  • Claiming oneself as a “nice guy”
  • Dying the tips of your hair

We’ve all seen these symptoms in someone we know. Perhaps your brother? Your cousin? Your father? Maybe even you?

What’s the treatment for Penis Size Syndrome? Unfortunately, there is no known treatment for PSS, but it normally fades with age. PSS peaks in men who are in their mid-20s and does not begin to subside until we reach 30. Most men are in complete remission by the time they reach 60 years of age.

You hear it all the time. “Men enjoy the chase more than…”

I mostly hear it from women as an explanation for why they should not give it up too soon in a relationship. I can’t imagine this was started by a man, but I have also heard men say it. Perhaps it is used as an explanation for why when we men are younger we jump from girl to girl. Or perhaps I did enjoy the chase when I was younger because I felt like I had to prove something about myself as a man.

The reality is that evolved men could care less about the chase. In fact, if we have to chase after a woman, we’re not going to remain interested very long. Evolved men are into women that are into us. If she’s interested, she should reciprocate our interest appropriately. I’m not talking about just getting laid, of course (that’s for a whole different topic).

When we are younger, men feel like we need to put forth our best image and prove that we are a good catch. We eventually get to a point where there is nothing we need to prove about being in a relationship. For me, every mistake there is to make in a relationship, I’ve already made it. Every stupid thing there is to say in a relationship, I’ve said it. I’ve learned each time, and I have grown.

For someone like me, I have a couple of businesses to run, dozens of hobbies (dancing, motorcycles, sailing, triathlons, skydiving, traveling, hiking, etc.) to pursue, an adorable nephew and family to spend time with, dogs that need a lot of exercise, and educational pursuits that all keep me busy and fulfilled. “Chasing” a woman is just going to distract from everything else.

Perhaps I’m getting old, but a woman that fits into who I am and doesn’t need to be chased is extremely attractive. I happen to like the man that I have become, and chasing after someone just doesn’t really make any sense.

I just love Urban Dictionary! Just the other day, I was listening to a radio show on BlogTalkRadio.com, and they were talking about side pieces and the jumpoff. They were using the two terms practically interchangeably, which is incorrect. To be sure, I did a search on Urban Dictionary, and one could argue that they are the same things, but there are very technical differences between a side piece and a side piece.

But this blog isn’t about side pieces or the jumpoff. It’s about another piece of slang that I wasn’t aware of at all until this Sunday. I had the co-founder of Single Tease (no, it’s not a porn site), Tamera Lawrence, on the show talking about her great T-shirts that help break the ice between people. You can listen to a piece of it on Words Cause.

During the interview, she mentioned that the chest area of a woman is referred to as “the region”.

I had no idea!

I asked some women at work if they knew about “the region”, and they were familiar with this term for their chest. I went to Urban Dictionary, and “the region” was only defined as Northwest Indiana. So, I added a new definition for “the region”:

Tasteful female slang for the area of their body containing their boobs
She wore a T-shirt with text printed above The Region

All of humanity needs your help! Check out the page for “the region” on Urban Dictionary and click on the thumbs-up for the new definition! It is currently the third definition listed.

Thanks for your support!

I know, the pervs were probably expecting some pictures of scantily clad women. For that, you should go here. For the rest of you, Dean and I had four incredibly amazing women on the Dean and Jared Words Cause Radio Show yesterday.

Laura and Lori have teamed up to provide amazing technological advancements in the health care industry.

Marianne quit a cushy job of 16 years to start her own business.

Rebekah is a mother of three boys, a wife of 17 years to a veteran, and the founder of more than half a dozen resources for health information.

How do they all do it? Click here to read a little bit more information about Laura, Lori, Marianne, and Rebekah.

What inspired them to go beyond their comfort zones? Listen to the Dean and Jared Words Cause Radio Show to find out!