Posts Tagged ‘men’
“Behind every great man is a great woman”
We hear that statement (or some variant: “Behind every successful man is a woman”) so often, particularly in politics. It’s so popular that with the rise of successful women in business and politics we hear the gender role reversal: Behind every great woman is a great man. Regardless of the gender roles, the statement has an underlying tone that the spouse of a great/successful person is hidden “behind” the successful person.
Maybe we see the significant other on the stage… Maybe the great wo/man is mentioned in an acceptance speech… Maybe in the memoirs…
The reality is that *Beside* every great wo/man is a great wo/man. It’s just a preposition, but this preposition swap accurately reflects the true spirit of this popular idiom. The spouse of a successful person stands besides them, not behind them. When they walked down the isle, they walked beside each other. No one individual was behind or in front of the other, and it’s the same in success and greatness.
When I achieve success in business or life, my wife is always beside me; not behind me. And I know that the same holds true for her. We’re on this adventure together. One of us certainly takes the lead depending on what obstacle is in front of us, but when we cross that finish line… When we achieve success, it’s beside one another.
It’s happened to us all. We start dating someone and all of a sudden people of previous interest start showing up all over the place. Then there’s the onslaught of new takers… Is it the way we dress? Is it our swagger that draws in the attention? Is it the fact that we appear more confident because we know we have someone special in our life? Or perhaps it is a cosmic joke to test to see how good we are at keeping our pants on and our lips to ourselves.
I don’t really know the answers to any of the questions above, but I do know one thing… Men react completely different to finding out a woman is with someone than women do. Take for example, hypothetical girlfriend Sally. She starts dating Harry and then goes out for a girl’s night with her friends. They happen to bump into guys who are out for a bachelor party (we all know what happens at bachelor parties!) The guys ask Sally if she’s seeing anyone… As soon as she says yes, they guys note that on the account and move on. They aren’t going to piss on that branch, if you know what I mean.
Harry goes out with the guys to some club. Guys night out. They bump into a bachelorette party (much more scandalous than bachelor parties, lemme tell ya!) As soon as the girls find out Harry is seeing someone it’s over. By over, I mean it’s over in a bad way. The girls are going to ask him questions like how long they’ve been dating. Apparently, if they haven’t been dating more than a certain number of months then it’s like he’s not dating anyone at all.
Few guys will pursue a woman he knows is with someone else, even if he knows they’ve only been dating for awhile. Any guy that does is a total piece of scum, so women can be forewarned. Don’t get upset when the guy turns out to be an utter douche. If he’s willing to screw over his own gender, he’s not worth your time.
I’ve been fortunate enough to date some beautiful women in my life. Typically, they capture a lot of interest when we are out. Heaven forbid I go to the bathroom because I’ll have to sift through a crowd of men to get back to her. I’m a very lucky guy. However, nothing compares to my current interest… like moths to a flame!
Last night I took her to see my friend Tiff Randol perform at Room 5 in Hollywood. We both really enjoyed Tiff’s performance! Afterward we met up with a friend of mine at a gay bar. Not even at a gay bar does my special lady get away from the guys hitting on her. There was one straight guy in the whole place (besides myself). Within 3 minutes he was hitting on her.
My friend took us to a couple of other gay spots and it was a different story, however. Nobody was interested in her at all. She did notice the amount of attention I was getting though. Women love men who are wanted by others. It doesn’t seem to matter that it was men that were checking me out. Someone (and apparently there were many) else wanted me, but she had me and that made her feel good about what she had.
There is an important lesson here folks! Take your woman to a gay bar so she knows you are a hot piece of ass 😛
You hear it all the time. “Men enjoy the chase more than…”
I mostly hear it from women as an explanation for why they should not give it up too soon in a relationship. I can’t imagine this was started by a man, but I have also heard men say it. Perhaps it is used as an explanation for why when we men are younger we jump from girl to girl. Or perhaps I did enjoy the chase when I was younger because I felt like I had to prove something about myself as a man.
The reality is that evolved men could care less about the chase. In fact, if we have to chase after a woman, we’re not going to remain interested very long. Evolved men are into women that are into us. If she’s interested, she should reciprocate our interest appropriately. I’m not talking about just getting laid, of course (that’s for a whole different topic).
When we are younger, men feel like we need to put forth our best image and prove that we are a good catch. We eventually get to a point where there is nothing we need to prove about being in a relationship. For me, every mistake there is to make in a relationship, I’ve already made it. Every stupid thing there is to say in a relationship, I’ve said it. I’ve learned each time, and I have grown.
For someone like me, I have a couple of businesses to run, dozens of hobbies (dancing, motorcycles, sailing, triathlons, skydiving, traveling, hiking, etc.) to pursue, an adorable nephew and family to spend time with, dogs that need a lot of exercise, and educational pursuits that all keep me busy and fulfilled. “Chasing” a woman is just going to distract from everything else.
Perhaps I’m getting old, but a woman that fits into who I am and doesn’t need to be chased is extremely attractive. I happen to like the man that I have become, and chasing after someone just doesn’t really make any sense.