10. The Rams win!!! Sorry, the Rams are on the fast track to becoming the first team to ever go 0-16! Not since the strike shortened 1982 season have we seen a winless team, so we are long overdue. Hey! Maybe they’ll come back to Los Angeles 😀
9. A game where Mike Holmgren doesn’t make a call leaving us thinking WTF! Next time, kick the field goal when are down by 11 and get stuffed in the red zone.
8. The Raiders win!!! At least against an AFC West opponent. The season of broken records is also the season of broken hearts for Raiders fans as the Raiders lost to the San Diego Chargers on Sunday, breaking the NFL record for consecutive losses to a division opponent.
7. Where Tom Brady throws fewer than 3 touchdowns. It doesn’t quite rank up there with Al “Crazy Legs” Bundy scoring 4 touchdowns in a single game. I don’t remember much about it. Wind coming out of the Southwest at 14 mph… Expect an even more dominating team than the 49er Super Bowl team of ’94. If Brady doesn’t break Manning’s record, be surprised. I heard a mouse in Boston say MVP on Sunday.
6. A game where Brett Favre doesn’t break an NFL record after October 14. Scoring the dubious title of most interceptions, Brett Favre became the most selfish passer in NFL history. No! He couldn’t just have the NFL record for touchdowns now could he! Each week he throws a TD or INT will be a new record. Expect at least 1 INT each week.
5. A game better than Nov 4 in Indy! It is highly probable that Manning and Brady will be leading undefeated teams in their AFC Championship rematch. Count on it being one of the highest scoring games in NFL history, at least for television ratings.
4. Any nationally televised game where Eli Manning is not compared to big brother Peyton. Sorry, Eli. That’s what happens when your older brother is one of the best quarter backs to play the game. And I thought I had it bad because my brother got his law degree… sheesh.
3. A playoff game at John Kerry’s wife’s stadium. The Steeler’s soft schedule is helping them look good in the early part of the season, but put your money on Big Ben putting up similar stats to last year’s 75.4 QB rating after they meet up with the Ravens in a couple of weeks. If they make it to the playoffs, it’s on the road the whole way (and don’t expect a repeat of the Stealers Super Bowl theft a couple years ago).
2. One with Janet Jackson in the halftime show. Years after the most Tivo’d moment in television history, people still can’t stop talking about the infamous nipple ornament slip of the 2003-4 Super Bowl. Hey, didn’t Mr. Wardrobe Malfunction just win the MTV Artist of the Year Award?
1. Atlanta Falcons vs. Cleveland Browns. Fortunately for NFL schedulers, they didn’t land the former team of Michael “Cock Fighting is for Chickens” Vick in the Dawg Pound. After all, Vick might not be able to keep himself from throwing down a few bills at the east end of Browns Stadium.