Archive for the ‘random’ Category

There are several ways to know that your relationship with a woman is over. Usually, their toothbrush might disappear from your bathroom. The tampons will disappear. Dishes will begin to pile up in the sink. House plants will start dying. There are so many signs she’s no longer there. However, there is nothing more damming than the missing flip off frog!

When my last girlfriend left, she took back most of the gifts she gave me during the years of dating. The comforter set she bought me for my birthday three years ago was probably the biggest thing that she took back. However, I was shocked when I went to water my house plant. She brought me one of those vine plant things. I think they are spider vines. I’m not really sure. Anyway, there used to be this frog in the planter that was sticking up its middle finger. When I poured the water in, the frog was missing! She took the flip off frog! I couldn’t believe it! Of all the things to take… Oh well, it suites her.

Famed puppy killer, David Motari, got a job working as a New York Street Sweeper and was put to work immediately. Unfortunately, he was back to his puppy killing ways as he sucked up a puppy into the street sweeper, killing it, and then driving another 2 1/2 blocks before stopping.

I just love Urban Dictionary! Just the other day, I was listening to a radio show on BlogTalkRadio.com, and they were talking about side pieces and the jumpoff. They were using the two terms practically interchangeably, which is incorrect. To be sure, I did a search on Urban Dictionary, and one could argue that they are the same things, but there are very technical differences between a side piece and a side piece.

But this blog isn’t about side pieces or the jumpoff. It’s about another piece of slang that I wasn’t aware of at all until this Sunday. I had the co-founder of Single Tease (no, it’s not a porn site), Tamera Lawrence, on the show talking about her great T-shirts that help break the ice between people. You can listen to a piece of it on Words Cause.

During the interview, she mentioned that the chest area of a woman is referred to as “the region”.

I had no idea!

I asked some women at work if they knew about “the region”, and they were familiar with this term for their chest. I went to Urban Dictionary, and “the region” was only defined as Northwest Indiana. So, I added a new definition for “the region”:

Tasteful female slang for the area of their body containing their boobs
She wore a T-shirt with text printed above The Region

All of humanity needs your help! Check out the page for “the region” on Urban Dictionary and click on the thumbs-up for the new definition! It is currently the third definition listed.

Thanks for your support!

I was joking around about being a redneck model for a new pair of binoculars by Spion. I’ve got my fishing jacket. I’ve got my red Snap-on baseball cap. I’ve got my… Ladybug?

Ladybugs Love Me

I’ve been a HUGE fan of LOL Cat for a loooooooong time. I post them on people’s Myspace profiles and vote regularly. Today, my friend Ken dropped off page 90 of the latest SkyMall, and I had to make my own LOL Cat!!! And it ends up being a Ceiling cat at that!

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Ron Paul is EVOL

In a move that’s straight out of the “DOH!” files, Ron Paul’s minions have been showering the Internet (and freeway overpasses) with root of all EVOL. Dana Carvey Church LadyThe idea was to share the “love” of Ron Paul’s R”evol”ution.I’m sure the intentions were good by his campaigners. But you know what they say about good intentions: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Wait! Hell also happens to be where EVOL comes from now.

Isn’t that special? 😛

Suddenly! I’m woken by my crazed dog!!! He’s right in my face, turning about, licking my arm and my face. Obviously, he needs to take a dump or pee on something outside. I get up from the coach… yes, it’s Sunday afternoon, so I’m sleeping on the coach after my 1 hour bike ride this afternoon.

I ask him, “You wanna go outside?”

He’s completely excited and goes running down the hall. At this point, I’m thinking that my dog is a little on the retarded side. After all, he should know after 5 years in the same house that when he goes outside, he goes through the kitchen. Nonetheless, I follow him down the hall.

He’s standing in the middle of the hall, so I figure he’s waiting for me to follow him. I start walking down the hall, but he doesn’t move. I tell him to move. He still won’t move. He’s just sitting there staring at the toilet.

Now, here is the part where you can either think that I am a genius for figuring this out or my dog is a genius for communicating to me that he’s thirsty. See, he never gets to drink from the toilet. If by some odd circumstance the lid is left off the toilet he won’t drink from it. He gets in trouble. Yet, somehow Granite the Einstein DOG figure out that if he points to a tub of water that he’s not allowed to drink out of, I’ll know that he’s friggin thirsty.

So I take him and Latte outside and give them fresh water.

GULP! GULP! GULP!

So, why does Time Warner Cable suck? Because I had no Internet access since 1 o’clock on Sunday morning until now.

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I’ve been shopping at Sharper Image for as long as I can remember. Back when they finally opened a store in Westlake Village, I couldn’t wait to see all the cool stuff that I had read and heard about for so long. Sharper Image has the coolest innovations.

The Ionic Breeze was something I wanted desperately. The product was so well marketed. You walk into the Sharper Image store and it smelled so good in there.

Now, you walk into Sharper Image… It still smells good, like good Trump Steaks! I’ll take the Filet Mignon medium-rare please. I’m not sure if I want the smell of the Ionic Breeze anymore. Gimme that sweet smell of the best USDA Prime. In fact, I think Sharper Image should get rid of all their gadgets and gizmos and just turn into a quality meat locker. Maybe they can have after hours model parties like that Seinfeld episode with the man hands.

Oh… You have to checkout the exciting message from The Donald on The Sharper Image website. Too funny. Maybe Gadget Universe will pick up Marth Stewart and Hammacher Schlemmer will pick up Rosie.

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Blogged with Flock

WalrusWhat are we saying when we say someone is “fat”?
We are acknowledging that when we look at them we see fat, jiggles, rolls, chunk, blubber, etc. For instance, this Walrus pictured here that I’m leeching from boldts.net. He’s fat, is he not? That’s just what he is. Not like it is bad that he’s fat. He’s just fat. He’s got a lot of fat on his body. For all I know, the walrus could be a she, but let’s just pretend that it is a he for the sake of the fat conversation. So, we have a fat walrus here. We don’t say the walrus is overweight do we?

What are we saying when we say someone is overweight?
Well, we are essentially saying that there is a standard weight that someone (or some walrus) is supposed to be and that they are over that ideal weight. Now, how is this different than saying someone is fat? Saying someone is fat is making an observation (remember the fat walrus from boldts.net?) Saying someone is overweight is actually passing a judgment upon that person that they are not the prescribed weight that they should be given their gender and height.

One might make the argument that calling someone overweight is merely making an observation that the person is over the weight for their given height and gender according to some standard outlined by some doctors in some country on some planet in some solar system in some galaxy in this universe. However, change doctors, country, planet, solar system, galaxy, or universe, and that same observation might not hold up. Also, I would then have to argue that unless you knew the exact weight, height (and gender) of the person you are judging as overweight, you really have no idea. They might just be extremely bloated!

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Listen LiveDon’t just read about gadgets. Call in and talk to me and other gadget enthusiasts during during our upcoming Gadget Panel BlogTalkRadio.com Show.

Guaranteed to be entertaining, fun, and informative. You won’t want to miss our first show in a couple of Saturdays. Share the gadget experience!

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