Success is Attractive

I’ve known a few gold diggers in my day. I even know a few women who have tried dating men with a lot of money just because they could and wanted to see if it really was any better than dating an average income guy. However, this isn’t what I’m talking about in this blog.

This is also a little different from a woman who supports her man’s ambitions. This is a woman who is genuinely turned on when she talks to her husband about the business deal he’s been working so hard to close or even the promotion he’s been vying for. This is about a woman who appreciates a man who is driven, and man who wants more and more in his short life. I believe that a truly successful man should want to date and/or marry a woman who is attracted to his success.

I should note that success does not require one to have a six figure income. Success is quite relative. A man may not have a high income, but he can still be successful. There are job careers that just don’t pay as high as others. That doesn’t make a CEO of a multi-billion dollar company more successful than the manager or owner of a local business. Unless the local business owner really wants to be the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. The local business owner can be quite successful just with his local business, and he is best off with a woman who is turned on by his local business success. When he comes home from a long day at the office or shop, she’ll be turned on by the fact that he’s succeeding locally.

I know women like this as well. I know some women who aren’t like this at all. They don’t mind dating a successful guy, but it doesn’t turn them on. They’ll say things like “he could wear jeans and a t-shirt as long as he treats me well”. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, but I’m heading for the hills when I hear a woman say that about me! To me, it is such a turnoff when a woman says something like that. I’d like to consider myself driven. Most people who know me would agree. It is such a part of the very fiber of my being that I’m very attracted to a woman who is turned on by my drive for success and completely turned off by a woman who is indifferent about it.

Don’t get me wrong. They are still great women. Those who I’ve dated in the past who were not attracted to success are wonderful women who would be a great catch… for someone else.


3 thoughts on “Success is Attractive

  1. Jared, we’re on the same page. Thank you the distinction between being a “gold-digger”, whose main interest is in the wealth/income of the other person, versus being turned on by success. I personally find it very attractive when someone is ambitious, driven, and motivated. I think someone I know is very hot because he’s the founder of a small, thriving business, plus a runs a non-profit that makes a difference in other parts of the world, plus he does speaking engagements on the side, and still creates the time to organize social/playful gatherings and events. His determination is super sexy. On the other hand, I’m friends with a physically lovely person who is quite intelligent but is shooting himself in the foot career-wise by not wanting to do his college homework because he finds it pointless; while I can agree that school assignments are pointless in a sense – their just practice whereas tasks at a job affect the company and customers – the fact that he’s sabotaging his job prospects by getting below a 3.0 when he should have a 3.5 is an absolute turn off. I’m not saying it’s all about “hard-work.” I’m certainly a fan of someone who works smarter, not harder. Another man I know was laid off when the company he’d worked at for years struggled, but he’d invested in income property by renovating several apartment buildings and flipping a few houses. He was able to “retire” in his 40s and continue to express his artistic/creative abilities through his real estate investments. F-ing HOT! Now, given, drive alone does not make me want to be in a relationship with a man. And I also care about whether his success is having a positive impact on the planet or making environmental/social problems worse. But, that being said, I am absolutely in agreement with you that one’s drive for success is a very attractive trait. And I would hope that the other person would feel the same way as you and appreciate that I find it attractive. Thanks for the blog post.

  2. I agree that being driven is important. However, if you want my feedback after having three significant relationships crumble while I was building my success, it’s this. Women are wired to sniff out a winner in order to increase chances for their offspring. So it doesn’t matter how ambitious you are, or how grand your plans are, or how busy you are. They only sense what actually FINISH. They’ll be “proud of him” for a year or two but after that they need to see the cheddar. I no longer fight this. I just don’t date anymore.

    1. Drew, I appreciate your input. I honestly think you dated the wrong women. In this day and age, women can be just as successful as men with their careers. If the woman is waiting for the cheddar, move on to the next woman. That’s what a gold digger is: someone who needs to see the cheddar.

      My two longest relationships were with women that were genuinely turned on by my drive for success, and they were equally driven to succeed in their careers. On top of that, they both were quite accomplished in their careers and didn’t care about the cheddar. They had plenty of cheddar on their own and didn’t need mine. We provided each other with input on our career paths and choices, and I even started a business together with one of them.

      I think a truly driven woman appreciates a man with drive, not because she’s got it made monetarily but because she likes that quality in herself and wants to find that in her mate.

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