Apple Fanboys Rejoice! Your Leader Has Sent Us Back to the Dark Ages

The iPad, which has revolutionized Apple’s product naming schema, is finally in the hands of such great technology writers like the folks over at TechCrunch. It is being heralded by Apple fanboys as a step forward for tablet computing.

I’ll just call it like it is: a leap backwards in ergonomic design and a promotion of streroids in the mass market.

Enjoy your neck, hand, and back cramps while sitting hunched over your keyboard/”computer” screen if you need to type anything. I have to qualify the “computer” aspect of the iPad. While it is technically a “computer” in a very broad sense, it certainly can’t do all the features of my 2 year old laptop can do, and I refer to my laptop as a computer.

Every sport seems to have a steriod scandal, so why not the computer world. the iPad reminds me of Barry Bonds’ head. Bonds started off with an iPod touch sized head. He takes roids and get an iPad sized head!

The iPad has given us nothing new. It’s Apple squeezing as much as it can out of it’s most popular product design. Now, on a business level, I can’t blame them. If hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of people are willing to pay your company for a product that is nothing more than a larger version of a product most of them already own… I would (and do) do the same thing with my own company.

However, the notion that the iPad is providing some sort of step forward when it introduces nothing new both hardware and software-wise, is just absurd. I understand why Apple went with a pseudo-OS with the iPad. They make a ton of money from their App Store that they have a monopoly on. Still, Apple’s ability to make money doesn’t change the fact that the iPad is not going to revolutionize touch screen technology like the iPhone did years ago.

What should they have given us that would revolutionize tablet technology? Here’s a start… A pair of gloves that operate as your keyboard, mouse, and touch(less) screen and virtual typing with a real auto-correction system like what Android has. Then, I can have a giant OLED screen that I never have to touch and don’t have to jack my wrists to type on. Think Minority Report on a mini scale.

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