Jesus can pitch me Viagra but I can’t get that important vendor email

I must admit that receiving an email from Jesus was exciting at first. I began thinking that perhaps I had found my salvation. Then I started freaking out!

Crap! I wasn’t exactly righteous when I stole that handicap parking space the other day! Surely, I’ll be going to hell for that one. I told my brother from PA that I was going to hangout with him on Monday… Holy crap! I’m going to hell for that one.

Perhaps this email from Jesus is not such a good thing after all. F* this salvation stuff. There will be no salvation for me. Oh well, what else is there for me to do other than just goto hell now? Wait a minute. This is from Jesus Ellis, not JC. WTF! He’s pitching Viagra. Damn. Let’s hope this is the only time I get stiffed by Jesus.

Meanwhile, where the hell is my email from an advertising vendor that I’ve been waiting for? Perhaps that unholy email is stuck somewhere in limbo.

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  1. Our spam filters hard at work.




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