Opportunity Knocks My Head

Today, the Bush Administration announced their new plan to help protect the environment. Since all three Presidential candidates are addressing growing environmental concerns, George W. Bush made the following announcement:

The Democratical candidates all have their environmentalistic policies that they believe are best for America and our planet. Unfortunately, these plans are highly flawed and don’t address the American workforce. This is why my administration is taking critical actions to exemplify my leadership on the the environment.

Effective immediately, we are going to slow down the economy considerably. See, with fewer people with jobs or employment situations, there will be a reductionation of driving, requiring fewer fossil fuel consumptions. This will also reduce the demand other goods and services that are bad for the environment, like flying airplanes.

Speaking of which. I’m going to go on vacation. But I won’t be traveling for this vacation. I’ll still be sitting in the White House, reading papers and staring at the wall.

When asked how this policy change was any different than his existing policy, Bush deferred to his Press Secretary who had no comment.