Stuff everyone should know about strip clubs

Original blog from my myspace
Let me start off by saying that I support college dance majors. Also, if you think stripping is dirty or morally corrupt (or that I’m a “bad” person for writing about stripping) then good for you, enjoy yourself but why are reading something titled “stuff everyone should know about strip clubs”? If you love stripping or watching strippers then good for you. Bravo!

Okay, let’s start with a few things guys really need to know about a strip club:

5. You are not really in love with the stripper. Even if you declare it in front of all of your friends a thousand and one times, you are not really in love with the stripper. I don’t care what T-Pain says… You are not in love with a stripper.

4. Strippers ARE excited by the bulge in your pants. Dude! Here’s the biggest secret you need to know about strip clubs. It is THEE best kept secret in the industry that THEY don’t want you to know. Just by telling you this, I am putting my life on the line here. But this secret is so damned important that I just can’t be silent any more. Here it is: The girls get paid to dance! Yes, you read that correctly. The girls get paid to dance! In places where the signs say that girls get paid only tips… Yes, the girls get paid only tips. Can you believe it? So, here’s the deal with this whole whacky concept about girls getting paid to dance. Just like everyone else on the face of this planet, the girls want to get paid M-O-N-E-Y. Yes, money is what they are working for. They are at work, and the object of work is to get money. They are not there to find hot studly guys such as yourself. I knew majoring in economics would benefit me somehow in life.

3. If a stripper is at a strip club, she’s working. I know. I know. Everyone has met the golden hearted stripper who had the “night off” and decided to hang out with her friends at work who didnt have the night off. I know exactly how they feel. Just last month, I decided that I wanted to take some time off for the holidays, so I went into work and helped my warehouse ship a bunch of packages. YEAH! It was good times! The purpose of a stripper having a “night off” but still going into the club is to get guys to hang out with them during their “night off” and pay their friends extra tips. I know you might be thinking that it was your boyish good looks and charming personality that got you sitting at the tables spending $100 every dance, but I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you. It is a workplace. Sorry.

2. Strippers are not pieces of trash. Now, I know you might be thinking, “Wait! You just told me all this evil stuff about how they are only after my money and that they are actually working on their nights off!” Indeed, strippers would like your money and don’t have “nights off”, but this does not make them the slime on an ameba’s ass. Take it easy, Jack the Ripper. If you have a problem and think that all strippers are whores by virtue of their workplace then you need professional help. Open your yellow pages and find a shrink who can help you with your problems with your mommy. When it boils down to it, you don’t know $hit about the stripper. Is she the golden hearted, single mother who teaches history at a public elementary school in the projects? Or is she a crack whore who needed some extra money to purchase a new pipe? Does it really make any difference? You are there for T&A, right? And you now realize that she is not there to pick you up, right? So, sit back. Relax. Throw down some money, and enjoy the damn show!

1. You are not the stripper’s boyfriend. Just because she invites you on her “night off” (reread item 3) does not mean you two are dating. The 3-4 happy endings she gave you when you paid her to for a massage don’t count towards you being her boyfriend either. Yes, I will say it again… You are not the stripper’s boyfriend.

Just like any workplace, there are some good strippers and some bad. You might even be surprised with who is actually a stripper. For all you know, your sister might even be one. Either way, help support college dance majors and visit your local strip club.


  1. John

    nice…. good set of thoughts on it. I’ve been strip clubbing for years, and these things are all hilariously true.

  2. steve

    thanks for the article… i went to a strip club last night, and met ‘that girl’ that just drives you wild, and i’m already thinking of ways to “get to know her” and all that… its amazing how you can get attached after a 2 song lap dance… i know its dumb but i fell for it and started txt-ing her when my wife isn’t around…. for what? man… i gotta get it together here

  3. Glenn

    These are some good words of advice/wisdom. I went to a strip club for the first time last night and man oh man……One song and a beautiful woman and im hooked. Its crazy how you can get 10 dances in a night and you get “One”, that special one, and thats all it takes.

  4. I think you are right in a lot of your advice. Basically, the industry is all about fantasy and a show. Of course these girls have a real life outside of the club. If a guy is looking to experience fantasy, then a strip club is a good spot. He should be careful not to mistake fantasy for reality. I write a little bit about this on my own site at http://www.thestripclubexpert.com

  5. Albert

    LIES!!! You are all jealous. I met my girlfriend, and now fiancé last month at a strip club. She is the hottest one on stage. The wedding was supposed to be next week, but her mother needed an operation, so after sending the money for her to pay for it, the wedding will be postponed until I can save up to pay for it. Just think about the private dances I will get then!!

    • Tmoney

      hahahha he’s obviously F’ing around – being sarcastic.

  6. Okay.

    The number 1 secret in strip clubs is sitting next to g-pa.

    I work with a guy who bounced at many clubs in Philadelphia area and he told me for a fact that is the number 1 secret.

    #2 if you piss off a stripper be ready to defend your manly hood.

    #3 the women are much harder to break up in a fight.

    • Very true about g-pa. Provided he is not a leper.

    • BIONIHC

      What is a g-pa? Grade point average?

      • BIONIHC

        nvm I just read the comment below me. HAHAHAHA!!!!!

  7. Adam

    First of all albert are u joking??!!As for wander73 wth is a g-pa?

    • We can only hope that Albert was joking…

      g-pa is a grandpa/much older man

  8. august

    Wow. You hit the nail on the head with this one. As a dancer, I found this more amusing than informative. Thank you for #2. I can’t believe you caught on to the night off gag. And how do guys fall in love over a lap dance? I really don’t get that.

  9. I was reading different comments from others on here.

    Don’t piss off a stripper. If you do she will do something right back at you.

    Get to know them really well. Yes they are working to make a living. Aren’t we all. If you want to get to know them better meet them some place and chill out with them.

  10. YOLANDA

    I BELIEVE U CAN’T FIND LOVE AT A STRIP CLUB UNLESS UR MINGLING WITH A PERSON WHO IS JUST VISITING. I TRIED IT AND IT DOESN’T WORK. I MEAN ITS UNBELIEVEABLE. SO TRUE STRIPPERS AREN’T YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND THEIR NOT TRYING TO MARRY U SO STOP TRYING TO TAKE THEM HOME UNLESS YOU WANT A HOE. GUYS ALWAYS OFFERING 100 TO 150 TO TAKE THE GIRLS HOME ITS NOT A CAT HOUSE,ALTHOUGH I’M NOT HATING ON THEM I JUST DON’T THINK U SHOULD CATAGORIZE ALL DANCERS AS HOES

  11. <3

  12. Fucking dumb asses

    dude talking bout u met your their. Just think bout how many people that got happy ends. U dumb ass, u aint in love with her just because she can make her ass move in all the good ways. Cause when u was getting haopy endings, i was also . Your boys was. And u better make her stop the strip club or yall wont make it.

  13. jamie

    Strippers dont get paid hourly, they make wat they make on the night and pay the club commision from it, its only the lap dansers in say somewhere like austrailia where they are paid to do actual 10 minuite stage shows which the other girls are not.

  14. Serena

    HOLD ON! I am a girl and i work in a few strip clubs. I haven’t gotten half way down your article yet because what you said from the beginning is total crap. I have no idea where you got that from and what kind of background you have about this but first of all. GIRLS DO NOT GET PAID TO DANCE. They get paid for by how many lap dances they give and what they do in the private rooms, which is usually a naked lap dance and a bit of flirting. ok now i get to the point where i say we do not work there to make our living. the job pays back only when you find the man that likes you and is willing to give you his money, then he usually comes back so the payback is good! but on a night when there are too many girls around or your man isn’t there the job pays tops 50 euros! And to find this man you have so much work to do! Another thing, strippers aren’t excited about your cock guys! They are paid to make it look like that so you want more and then you buy another lap dance and thats cool for us :) anyways, if you wanna know more i can tell you other stuff since I’m in this business. Usually the man who comes there just for you at the end of a private lap dance proposes more money for you to go home with him! We do not usually approve but if it is good money (and usually it is – like over a thousand or so) we might agree. Another thing that might interest you, whatever you guys pay for a lap dance at the table, the girl gets 30 percent of it. this is how i prove my point that girls do not do this for a living. they usually study and work or have two jobs. many of my girls strip and do escort service!

    Ask if you guys have any questions :)

    XXX

    -S

    • You should have kept reading. I clarify what it means for strippers to get “paid to dance”. Also, not all placed pay only 30%

      A good stripper will find the right client that matches her personality or better yet, adjust to match a good paying client. If you’re walking out of club with only 50 euros (roughly 66 greenbacks) then you’re either working at the wrong place or need to work on your skills. A great stripper can walk out of a great club any night of the week with a fist full of Benjamins.

      A truly great stripper knows that some men just come to a strip club just for the skin entertainment and are willing to put down a good amount of cash for a stripper who isn’t pretending to be in to him but just gives him exactly what he’s looking for: a great skin show. Then he’s going to go home to his wife (who probably is cool with him going to a strip club) and have some great baby-making sex. Stripping is about foreplay (not sex) for men like this, and you’ll make a lot more money off of them than some schlep.

    • Like this..thank u☆★

  15. gisselle

    im a fellow stripper and this shits halarious! love it ;)

  16. Senior in high school, read too many forums and heard too much stuff about going into debt from college in the fucked up US economy. Fuck it, I have tits. I’ll be a stripper. I can do that ^.

  17. Ponyrider

    I am a stripper and really the job sucks, the money isnt what you think and the cliental are usually weirdos. I started doing it thinking the money was going to be 3 to 4 hundred a night! The wy you really make your money is to have a few regulars, but its not only at the club you entertain them. You have to answer there calls go on dates and sexually pleasure them. Stripper that say they only strip and nothing extra and make big money is flat out lieing. I work in Detroit and from the older white men, lawyers, and to the street thug drug dealers, they are not throughing there money at you without you fucking them outside of your club hours.
    This industry does suck, but i am a convicted felon with one child and need money. If I could I’d stop forever…The life isnt all people try and make it. Its degrading and most strippers try and find confort in the job by saying it legal, and they want for nothing. But in actually we cry inside. Taking of my clothes bending over and shacking my ass to random men or women is self degrading. I know that Im nothing more that a prostitude. Selling sexualy favors for money. My body is suppose to be Gods Temple and day in and day out I let men/women abuse and misuse his temple. NO ONE SHOULD EVER THINK OF THIS AS A CAREER OR AS A GOOD JOB!

    • phillyblaq

      Wow, reading this one I felt her pain. Babygirl you’re only going to achieve what you settle for.

  18. I was just doing research on auditions at strip clubs…and ran across this material ☆★

  19. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was curious what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming
    having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
    I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% positive. Any tips or advice would be greatly
    appreciated. Thanks

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